Breakups are notoriously difficult, with researchers saying they can be comparable to overcoming an addiction or mourning a death, but knowing when to pull the plug can be a whole challenge in and of itself.
Regardless of whether you’ve been with someone for a few years or a few months, it’s always tricky trying to figure out when to cut ties with a romantic partner. What if you regret it? What if they react terribly? And how can you differentiate between needing to go on a break and needing to break up altogether?
Ending a relationship gets particularly complex when there are other people involved, too, like children, or mutual friends. But if you find yourself feeling increasingly bored and frustrated, or perhaps you’ve realised you’re actually not as compatible with your partner as you thought, breaking up might be the right decision for both of you.
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As identified by dating psychologists and experts, here are the eight signs it’s time to end a relationship.
1. Every conversation is negative
If you are unable to talk to your partner about anything contentious without having an argument, then it’s a big warning sign to get out, notes dating expert James Preece.
“Anger and negativity are a sign of deep rooted issues between you and your partner, and it can mean that things will eventually become very damaging,” he adds.
“You may want to end the relationship before they do, for your sake and theirs.”
2. You’re experiencing physical, sexual, verbal and/or emotional abuse
If you are experiencing any form of abuse in your relationship, it’s a clear warning sign that you should end it, says dating psychologist and coach Madeleine Mason Roantree.
“We’re not talking about the one-off tiff where you accidentally verbally hurt someone in a fit of rage (although, such episodes need to be addressed), I am talking about bad behaviour that occurs more often, especially systematically, where the behaviour is a reflection of someone’s character and their lack of ability to control their emotions and urges,” she explains.
If you find yourself excusing a partner’s bad behaviour, perhaps to your friends or family members, it’s also a sign that your relationship might have become toxic, Roantree adds. “I would say that is a clear sign for you to leave.”
3. You stop being their priority
Couples are supposed to want to make time for one another, it isn’t supposed to be a chore, notes Preece. “So, if your partner would rather go out drinking with their friends or do anything possible other than see and spend time with you, you must question why,” he says.
1/19 Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union
The couples matched in matching Dundas on the red carpet. The actress wore a floor-length cardigan on top of the dress, which featured a high slit in the middle to show off her black high heels. Meanwhile, her husband wore a headpiece and black suit that matched Union’s bejewelled look.
(Credit too long, see caption)
2/19 Tom Brady and Gisele Budchen
The pair wore matching shades of pink on the red carpet. Bündchen looked chic in a pleated metallic pink gown by Dior’s Maria Grazia Chiuri. Meanwhile, the sportsman wore a velvet dark pink tuxedo.
Getty Images
3/19 Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz
The couple contrasted with the light pink red carpet in matching green ensembles. Keys wore a hooded light green sequined dress for the occasion while her beau wore a dark green tuxedo jacket and black trousers.
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
4/19 Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez
The newly-engaged couple stunned on the pink carpet. Lopez arrived with her fiancé in a silver sequined-encrusted dress with a deep V-neck plunge and matching headpiece. Meanwhile, Rodriguez wore a pink suit.
(Credit too long, see caption)
5/19 Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner
The pair looked like they’d just stepped out of a video game, with Jenner donning a purple wig and sheer lavender-coloured dress by Versace for the occasion. The reality star’s ensemble featured matching coloured feathered sleeves, while her boyfriend wore a brown and black Dior military-inspired suit.
Getty Images
6/19 Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner
The newly-married couple attended their first Met Gala together this year. The Game of Thrones star wore a Louis Vuitton two-piece ensemble, which had the appearance of a jumpsuit, with an oversized belt. Jonas, meanwhile, coordinated with his wife’s look in a black suit that featured multi-coloured embelishments.
Getty Images
7/19 Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas
Chopra looked every inch as regal as she did on her wedding day to Nick Jonas last year in this stunning silver Dior Haute Couture gown at the Gala. the dress featured feathered ruffles and a matching cape, and was paired with a silver crown and Chopard jewellery. Standing by her side was Jonas, who wore a white Dior Men tuxedo, Chopard jewellery and silver Christian Louboutin shoes.
(Credit too long, see caption)
8/19 James Corden and Julia Carey
The presenter and his wife matched in black and baby pink at the Gala. The comedian teamed his look with a matching neck tie, waist coat and patent black dress shoes.
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
9/19 Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Kim Kardashian-West and her husband caused a frenzy on the red carpet. The reality star wore a nude ensemble designed by Mugler, while her husband wore a black jacket and trousers. “This is the first time in 20 years that Mr. Mugler has designed for the House of Thierry Mugler,” the media mogul told E! News’ Zuri Hall on E!’s Live From the Red Carpet at the Met Gala.
(Credit too long, see caption)
10/19 Megalyn Echikunwoke and Chris Rock
The duo posed side-by-side a pose on the Met Gala stairs. Echikunwoke wore a textured terracotta-coloured patterned dress for the occasion which featured a high neck and cascading mini dress that ran into an elongated train. Meanwhile, her beau kept things simple in a black tuxedo.
AFP/Getty Images
11/19 Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego
The pair channelled disco glamour on the pink carpet at the event. The couple, who have been married for six years, looked effortlessly chid as Saldana teamed her sequined rust-coloured dress by Michael Kors with a matching necktie, sequinned satin clutch, snakeskin platform heels, and purple embellished glowers in her hair. Her husband, meanwhile, kept it causal in a black tuxedo with an open-collared white shirt.
(Credit too long, see caption)
12/19 Charles Melton and Camila Mendes
Riverdale’s Camila Mendes and Charles Melton attended their first Met Gala together this evening. Mendes wore a yellow feathered Prabal Gurung gown with a light blue bow tied around the back while her beau complemented her look in a dark Sies Marjan suit.
Getty Images
13/19 Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth
The pair made their Met Gala pink carpet debut in coordinating looks. The singer wore a Saint Laurent sequin striped dress with a pair of sheer black dotted patterned leggings. Meanwhile, her husband wore a black suit that matched his wife’s outfit, perfectly.
Getty Images
14/19 Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter
Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter turned things up a notch in their matching ensembles. The actor didn’t hold back in his all-white suit and fedora, while his wife donned a strapless lilac-hued dress with oversized billowing sleeves.
Getty Images
15/19 Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart
The Riverdale pair might have looked like they’d stepped from the pages of a children’s novel at tonight’s gala but their outfits surely packed a sartorial punch. Reinhart wore a blue strapless romper dress with oversized sleeves and a long train, while her beau wore a matching red sleeveless suit jacket and trousers that featured a floral motif.
(Credit too long, see caption)
16/19 Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian
Williams stole the show on the night in a pair of neon yellow Nike trainers designed by Virgil Abloh and a bright yellow Versace floral-printed dress. She walked the red carpet with her husband of two years, who wore a black and white tuxedo.
PA
17/19 Baz Luhrmann, left, and Catherine Martin
Director Baz Luhrmann and his wife Catherine Martin matched in various shades of pink. Martin’s look capitalised on the night’s biggest trend –feathers – with the detailing featuring on the hem of her cuff and trouser legs.
Charles Sykes/Invision/AP
18/19 Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Hilfiger
Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo showed their patriotic side, dressed in a stars and striped motif inspired by the US flag.
(Credit too long, see caption)
19/19 Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble
Jenner looked almost unrecognisable in a blonde wig at the event, dressed in a custom jumpsuit and jacket from Tommy Hilfiger. Her partner, Corey Gamble, coordinated with Jenner’s look in a matching blue tuxedo.
(Credit too long, see caption)
1/19 Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union
The couples matched in matching Dundas on the red carpet. The actress wore a floor-length cardigan on top of the dress, which featured a high slit in the middle to show off her black high heels. Meanwhile, her husband wore a headpiece and black suit that matched Union’s bejewelled look.
(Credit too long, see caption)
2/19 Tom Brady and Gisele Budchen
The pair wore matching shades of pink on the red carpet. Bündchen looked chic in a pleated metallic pink gown by Dior’s Maria Grazia Chiuri. Meanwhile, the sportsman wore a velvet dark pink tuxedo.
Getty Images
3/19 Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz
The couple contrasted with the light pink red carpet in matching green ensembles. Keys wore a hooded light green sequined dress for the occasion while her beau wore a dark green tuxedo jacket and black trousers.
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
4/19 Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez
The newly-engaged couple stunned on the pink carpet. Lopez arrived with her fiancé in a silver sequined-encrusted dress with a deep V-neck plunge and matching headpiece. Meanwhile, Rodriguez wore a pink suit.
(Credit too long, see caption)
5/19 Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner
The pair looked like they’d just stepped out of a video game, with Jenner donning a purple wig and sheer lavender-coloured dress by Versace for the occasion. The reality star’s ensemble featured matching coloured feathered sleeves, while her boyfriend wore a brown and black Dior military-inspired suit.
Getty Images
6/19 Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner
The newly-married couple attended their first Met Gala together this year. The Game of Thrones star wore a Louis Vuitton two-piece ensemble, which had the appearance of a jumpsuit, with an oversized belt. Jonas, meanwhile, coordinated with his wife’s look in a black suit that featured multi-coloured embelishments.
Getty Images
7/19 Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas
Chopra looked every inch as regal as she did on her wedding day to Nick Jonas last year in this stunning silver Dior Haute Couture gown at the Gala. the dress featured feathered ruffles and a matching cape, and was paired with a silver crown and Chopard jewellery. Standing by her side was Jonas, who wore a white Dior Men tuxedo, Chopard jewellery and silver Christian Louboutin shoes.
(Credit too long, see caption)
8/19 James Corden and Julia Carey
The presenter and his wife matched in black and baby pink at the Gala. The comedian teamed his look with a matching neck tie, waist coat and patent black dress shoes.
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
9/19 Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Kim Kardashian-West and her husband caused a frenzy on the red carpet. The reality star wore a nude ensemble designed by Mugler, while her husband wore a black jacket and trousers. “This is the first time in 20 years that Mr. Mugler has designed for the House of Thierry Mugler,” the media mogul told E! News’ Zuri Hall on E!’s Live From the Red Carpet at the Met Gala.
(Credit too long, see caption)
10/19 Megalyn Echikunwoke and Chris Rock
The duo posed side-by-side a pose on the Met Gala stairs. Echikunwoke wore a textured terracotta-coloured patterned dress for the occasion which featured a high neck and cascading mini dress that ran into an elongated train. Meanwhile, her beau kept things simple in a black tuxedo.
AFP/Getty Images
11/19 Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego
The pair channelled disco glamour on the pink carpet at the event. The couple, who have been married for six years, looked effortlessly chid as Saldana teamed her sequined rust-coloured dress by Michael Kors with a matching necktie, sequinned satin clutch, snakeskin platform heels, and purple embellished glowers in her hair. Her husband, meanwhile, kept it causal in a black tuxedo with an open-collared white shirt.
(Credit too long, see caption)
12/19 Charles Melton and Camila Mendes
Riverdale’s Camila Mendes and Charles Melton attended their first Met Gala together this evening. Mendes wore a yellow feathered Prabal Gurung gown with a light blue bow tied around the back while her beau complemented her look in a dark Sies Marjan suit.
Getty Images
13/19 Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth
The pair made their Met Gala pink carpet debut in coordinating looks. The singer wore a Saint Laurent sequin striped dress with a pair of sheer black dotted patterned leggings. Meanwhile, her husband wore a black suit that matched his wife’s outfit, perfectly.
Getty Images
14/19 Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter
Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter turned things up a notch in their matching ensembles. The actor didn’t hold back in his all-white suit and fedora, while his wife donned a strapless lilac-hued dress with oversized billowing sleeves.
Getty Images
15/19 Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart
The Riverdale pair might have looked like they’d stepped from the pages of a children’s novel at tonight’s gala but their outfits surely packed a sartorial punch. Reinhart wore a blue strapless romper dress with oversized sleeves and a long train, while her beau wore a matching red sleeveless suit jacket and trousers that featured a floral motif.
(Credit too long, see caption)
16/19 Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian
Williams stole the show on the night in a pair of neon yellow Nike trainers designed by Virgil Abloh and a bright yellow Versace floral-printed dress. She walked the red carpet with her husband of two years, who wore a black and white tuxedo.
PA
17/19 Baz Luhrmann, left, and Catherine Martin
Director Baz Luhrmann and his wife Catherine Martin matched in various shades of pink. Martin’s look capitalised on the night’s biggest trend –feathers – with the detailing featuring on the hem of her cuff and trouser legs.
Charles Sykes/Invision/AP
18/19 Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Hilfiger
Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo showed their patriotic side, dressed in a stars and striped motif inspired by the US flag.
(Credit too long, see caption)
19/19 Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble
Jenner looked almost unrecognisable in a blonde wig at the event, dressed in a custom jumpsuit and jacket from Tommy Hilfiger. Her partner, Corey Gamble, coordinated with Jenner’s look in a matching blue tuxedo.
(Credit too long, see caption)
“If all you get is excuses about why they can’t hang out with you, it’s time to find someone else who will make you feel loved. Life’s too short.”
4. You feel you are always walking on eggshells
While there might be nice moments in the relationship, perhaps you have times when you feel like you can’t be yourself. This is common in relationships that are nearing an end, notes Mason Roantree.
“If you are constantly monitoring your partner’s moods and behaving in ways to minimise the risk of them becoming upset, angry or violent, then you know something is fundamentally wrong with the relationship.”
You might even stop doing things you enjoy in order to keep your partner happy. “Without knowing it, their volatility or unpredictability is governing you,” Mason Roantree adds.
5. It’s just not fun anymore
Relationships can be mundane at times, but they should also be fun. At least they should be if they are going to last, says Preece.
“If you get easily frustrated or bored of your partner’s habits and quirks, then you are just wasting your time,” he explains.
“Relationships should feel comfortable, but also exciting. You should feel happy about spending time with your partner. If you’re just going through the motions, you either need to mix things up or end it before you start to resent one another.”
6. You have incompatible lifestyles and values
Some couples are like chalk and cheese, but they have a great relationship. For others, differences can be too big, and you have to ask yourself whether you really want to make such huge sacrifices, notes Mason Roantree.
“Examples of big differences include having contrasting views on wanting children, living close to family versus living afar, and having a ‘rootless’ lifestyle moving every four years versus having a predictable stable home environment.”
While it’s not necessarily a dealbreaker to have different hobbies to a partner, if you disagree on the aforementioned fundamentals, it could be a clear sign you aren’t right for each other.
7. Your friends and family don’t like your partner
No matter how much you love your partner, it’s a major red flag if everyone else around you thinks differently, notes Preece.
“When you love someone or you’re infatuated with them, it can be easy to become blinkered and turn a blind eye to bad behaviour,” he explains.
“Your support circle can see so much more than you can as they aren’t emotionally involved.” While no one knows what it’s like to be in a particular relationship apart from the two people in that relationship, if those closest to you think your partner is bad news, you should listen to what they have to say; they might see things you can’t.”
8. You are only still together because it’s easier than being alone
Sometimes the thought of having to start again can stop unhappy couples from splitting up, notes Preece.
“It’s the ‘better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know’ mantra,” he explains. “But this could be delaying your ultimate happiness with someone else.
“It’s only when you set yourself free from a bad relationship, or a so-so one, that you’ll realise there is a much better and more exciting and meaningful relationship out there for you.”