Relationships are hard work. Once you’ve moved past the initial period of infatuation – often referred to as “the honeymoon phase” – reality sinks in, and you start to get a deeper sense of who someone is and whether or not they might be right for you.
But the signs can be difficult to identify, particularly if you’ve never been a long-term relationship before.
How much should you be willing to sacrifice for the other person? Does it matter if your interests don’t align? And what about if you argue quite a lot?
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The Independent spoke to relationship experts to identify nine signs that the person you’re dating is right for you.
1. You can meet in the middle
The key to any successful relationship is compromise, says Kate Moyle, relationship psychotherapist and host of The Sexual Wellness Sessions podcast.
“It’s always going to be a tussle between the individual needs of those involved, and we shouldn’t expect to be perfectly aligned or agreed on everything.”
The way you are able to compromise and negotiate with a partner should be a key indicator of how well suited you are.
If you find it easy to meet in the middle when you are in disagreement about something, you know your partner is a keeper.
2. They make you feel good about yourself
The right person for you will empower you to be your most confident self, says dating coach James Preece.
“They’ll reassure you, pay compliments and let you know how amazing you are,” he adds.
Wave goodbye to partners who have you constantly questioning your thoughts and appearance, that’s a clear red flag something isn’t right.
A good partner wants you to be happy and not to doubt yourself. “If you start to believe it too then you are never going to need to question anything or doubt yourself,” Preece adds.
3. The will be a good listener
A good partner will listen attentively to everything you have to say, regardless of how boring it might seem to you.
“It might mean you’re listening to them ranting about the flaws in your work colleagues for the majority of an evening, but it’s important for them to feel heard and listened to,” says Moyle.
“The ability to hear each other, and to give the other space to feel heard, even if the content of the discussion isn’t of interest to us as an individual, shows that person that they are worthy of our time and attention.”
4. You have similar core values
You don’t need to have the exact same interests as a potential long-term partner. In fact, sometimes it helps to have completely different ones – it gives you something to talk about.
But Preece stresses that if you want a long-term relationship with someone, you must make sure you are both going in the same direction in terms of your life goals and your core values.
1/19 Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union
The couples matched in matching Dundas on the red carpet. The actress wore a floor-length cardigan on top of the dress, which featured a high slit in the middle to show off her black high heels. Meanwhile, her husband wore a headpiece and black suit that matched Union’s bejewelled look.
(Credit too long, see caption)
2/19 Tom Brady and Gisele Budchen
The pair wore matching shades of pink on the red carpet. Bündchen looked chic in a pleated metallic pink gown by Dior’s Maria Grazia Chiuri. Meanwhile, the sportsman wore a velvet dark pink tuxedo.
Getty Images
3/19 Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz
The couple contrasted with the light pink red carpet in matching green ensembles. Keys wore a hooded light green sequined dress for the occasion while her beau wore a dark green tuxedo jacket and black trousers.
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
4/19 Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez
The newly-engaged couple stunned on the pink carpet. Lopez arrived with her fiancé in a silver sequined-encrusted dress with a deep V-neck plunge and matching headpiece. Meanwhile, Rodriguez wore a pink suit.
(Credit too long, see caption)
5/19 Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner
The pair looked like they’d just stepped out of a video game, with Jenner donning a purple wig and sheer lavender-coloured dress by Versace for the occasion. The reality star’s ensemble featured matching coloured feathered sleeves, while her boyfriend wore a brown and black Dior military-inspired suit.
Getty Images
6/19 Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner
The newly-married couple attended their first Met Gala together this year. The Game of Thrones star wore a Louis Vuitton two-piece ensemble, which had the appearance of a jumpsuit, with an oversized belt. Jonas, meanwhile, coordinated with his wife’s look in a black suit that featured multi-coloured embelishments.
Getty Images
7/19 Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas
Chopra looked every inch as regal as she did on her wedding day to Nick Jonas last year in this stunning silver Dior Haute Couture gown at the Gala. the dress featured feathered ruffles and a matching cape, and was paired with a silver crown and Chopard jewellery. Standing by her side was Jonas, who wore a white Dior Men tuxedo, Chopard jewellery and silver Christian Louboutin shoes.
(Credit too long, see caption)
8/19 James Corden and Julia Carey
The presenter and his wife matched in black and baby pink at the Gala. The comedian teamed his look with a matching neck tie, waist coat and patent black dress shoes.
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
9/19 Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Kim Kardashian-West and her husband caused a frenzy on the red carpet. The reality star wore a nude ensemble designed by Mugler, while her husband wore a black jacket and trousers. “This is the first time in 20 years that Mr. Mugler has designed for the House of Thierry Mugler,” the media mogul told E! News’ Zuri Hall on E!’s Live From the Red Carpet at the Met Gala.
(Credit too long, see caption)
10/19 Megalyn Echikunwoke and Chris Rock
The duo posed side-by-side a pose on the Met Gala stairs. Echikunwoke wore a textured terracotta-coloured patterned dress for the occasion which featured a high neck and cascading mini dress that ran into an elongated train. Meanwhile, her beau kept things simple in a black tuxedo.
AFP/Getty Images
11/19 Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego
The pair channelled disco glamour on the pink carpet at the event. The couple, who have been married for six years, looked effortlessly chid as Saldana teamed her sequined rust-coloured dress by Michael Kors with a matching necktie, sequinned satin clutch, snakeskin platform heels, and purple embellished glowers in her hair. Her husband, meanwhile, kept it causal in a black tuxedo with an open-collared white shirt.
(Credit too long, see caption)
12/19 Charles Melton and Camila Mendes
Riverdale’s Camila Mendes and Charles Melton attended their first Met Gala together this evening. Mendes wore a yellow feathered Prabal Gurung gown with a light blue bow tied around the back while her beau complemented her look in a dark Sies Marjan suit.
Getty Images
13/19 Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth
The pair made their Met Gala pink carpet debut in coordinating looks. The singer wore a Saint Laurent sequin striped dress with a pair of sheer black dotted patterned leggings. Meanwhile, her husband wore a black suit that matched his wife’s outfit, perfectly.
Getty Images
14/19 Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter
Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter turned things up a notch in their matching ensembles. The actor didn’t hold back in his all-white suit and fedora, while his wife donned a strapless lilac-hued dress with oversized billowing sleeves.
Getty Images
15/19 Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart
The Riverdale pair might have looked like they’d stepped from the pages of a children’s novel at tonight’s gala but their outfits surely packed a sartorial punch. Reinhart wore a blue strapless romper dress with oversized sleeves and a long train, while her beau wore a matching red sleeveless suit jacket and trousers that featured a floral motif.
(Credit too long, see caption)
16/19 Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian
Williams stole the show on the night in a pair of neon yellow Nike trainers designed by Virgil Abloh and a bright yellow Versace floral-printed dress. She walked the red carpet with her husband of two years, who wore a black and white tuxedo.
PA
17/19 Baz Luhrmann, left, and Catherine Martin
Director Baz Luhrmann and his wife Catherine Martin matched in various shades of pink. Martin’s look capitalised on the night’s biggest trend –feathers – with the detailing featuring on the hem of her cuff and trouser legs.
Charles Sykes/Invision/AP
18/19 Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Hilfiger
Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo showed their patriotic side, dressed in a stars and striped motif inspired by the US flag.
(Credit too long, see caption)
19/19 Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble
Jenner looked almost unrecognisable in a blonde wig at the event, dressed in a custom jumpsuit and jacket from Tommy Hilfiger. Her partner, Corey Gamble, coordinated with Jenner’s look in a matching blue tuxedo.
(Credit too long, see caption)
1/19 Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union
The couples matched in matching Dundas on the red carpet. The actress wore a floor-length cardigan on top of the dress, which featured a high slit in the middle to show off her black high heels. Meanwhile, her husband wore a headpiece and black suit that matched Union’s bejewelled look.
(Credit too long, see caption)
2/19 Tom Brady and Gisele Budchen
The pair wore matching shades of pink on the red carpet. Bündchen looked chic in a pleated metallic pink gown by Dior’s Maria Grazia Chiuri. Meanwhile, the sportsman wore a velvet dark pink tuxedo.
Getty Images
3/19 Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz
The couple contrasted with the light pink red carpet in matching green ensembles. Keys wore a hooded light green sequined dress for the occasion while her beau wore a dark green tuxedo jacket and black trousers.
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
4/19 Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez
The newly-engaged couple stunned on the pink carpet. Lopez arrived with her fiancé in a silver sequined-encrusted dress with a deep V-neck plunge and matching headpiece. Meanwhile, Rodriguez wore a pink suit.
(Credit too long, see caption)
5/19 Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner
The pair looked like they’d just stepped out of a video game, with Jenner donning a purple wig and sheer lavender-coloured dress by Versace for the occasion. The reality star’s ensemble featured matching coloured feathered sleeves, while her boyfriend wore a brown and black Dior military-inspired suit.
Getty Images
6/19 Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner
The newly-married couple attended their first Met Gala together this year. The Game of Thrones star wore a Louis Vuitton two-piece ensemble, which had the appearance of a jumpsuit, with an oversized belt. Jonas, meanwhile, coordinated with his wife’s look in a black suit that featured multi-coloured embelishments.
Getty Images
7/19 Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas
Chopra looked every inch as regal as she did on her wedding day to Nick Jonas last year in this stunning silver Dior Haute Couture gown at the Gala. the dress featured feathered ruffles and a matching cape, and was paired with a silver crown and Chopard jewellery. Standing by her side was Jonas, who wore a white Dior Men tuxedo, Chopard jewellery and silver Christian Louboutin shoes.
(Credit too long, see caption)
8/19 James Corden and Julia Carey
The presenter and his wife matched in black and baby pink at the Gala. The comedian teamed his look with a matching neck tie, waist coat and patent black dress shoes.
Evan Agostini/Invision/AP
9/19 Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Kim Kardashian-West and her husband caused a frenzy on the red carpet. The reality star wore a nude ensemble designed by Mugler, while her husband wore a black jacket and trousers. “This is the first time in 20 years that Mr. Mugler has designed for the House of Thierry Mugler,” the media mogul told E! News’ Zuri Hall on E!’s Live From the Red Carpet at the Met Gala.
(Credit too long, see caption)
10/19 Megalyn Echikunwoke and Chris Rock
The duo posed side-by-side a pose on the Met Gala stairs. Echikunwoke wore a textured terracotta-coloured patterned dress for the occasion which featured a high neck and cascading mini dress that ran into an elongated train. Meanwhile, her beau kept things simple in a black tuxedo.
AFP/Getty Images
11/19 Zoe Saldana and Marco Perego
The pair channelled disco glamour on the pink carpet at the event. The couple, who have been married for six years, looked effortlessly chid as Saldana teamed her sequined rust-coloured dress by Michael Kors with a matching necktie, sequinned satin clutch, snakeskin platform heels, and purple embellished glowers in her hair. Her husband, meanwhile, kept it causal in a black tuxedo with an open-collared white shirt.
(Credit too long, see caption)
12/19 Charles Melton and Camila Mendes
Riverdale’s Camila Mendes and Charles Melton attended their first Met Gala together this evening. Mendes wore a yellow feathered Prabal Gurung gown with a light blue bow tied around the back while her beau complemented her look in a dark Sies Marjan suit.
Getty Images
13/19 Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth
The pair made their Met Gala pink carpet debut in coordinating looks. The singer wore a Saint Laurent sequin striped dress with a pair of sheer black dotted patterned leggings. Meanwhile, her husband wore a black suit that matched his wife’s outfit, perfectly.
Getty Images
14/19 Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter
Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter turned things up a notch in their matching ensembles. The actor didn’t hold back in his all-white suit and fedora, while his wife donned a strapless lilac-hued dress with oversized billowing sleeves.
Getty Images
15/19 Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart
The Riverdale pair might have looked like they’d stepped from the pages of a children’s novel at tonight’s gala but their outfits surely packed a sartorial punch. Reinhart wore a blue strapless romper dress with oversized sleeves and a long train, while her beau wore a matching red sleeveless suit jacket and trousers that featured a floral motif.
(Credit too long, see caption)
16/19 Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian
Williams stole the show on the night in a pair of neon yellow Nike trainers designed by Virgil Abloh and a bright yellow Versace floral-printed dress. She walked the red carpet with her husband of two years, who wore a black and white tuxedo.
PA
17/19 Baz Luhrmann, left, and Catherine Martin
Director Baz Luhrmann and his wife Catherine Martin matched in various shades of pink. Martin’s look capitalised on the night’s biggest trend –feathers – with the detailing featuring on the hem of her cuff and trouser legs.
Charles Sykes/Invision/AP
18/19 Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Hilfiger
Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo showed their patriotic side, dressed in a stars and striped motif inspired by the US flag.
(Credit too long, see caption)
19/19 Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble
Jenner looked almost unrecognisable in a blonde wig at the event, dressed in a custom jumpsuit and jacket from Tommy Hilfiger. Her partner, Corey Gamble, coordinated with Jenner’s look in a matching blue tuxedo.
(Credit too long, see caption)
“You are a team and need to be on the same page,” he says. “This requires you both aligning on what’s important to you in life.”
It might be your views on children, where you want to live, or simply how you choose to live your life. Whatever it may be, if it’s important to you, it should be important to your partner too.
5. You have healthy discussions when you disagree
Arguments are not necessarily a bad thing in a relationship. In fact, depending on how you handle them, they can be integral to the longevity of a partnership, says Moyle.
“Every discussion doesn’t have to be an argument,” she explains. “But with the right person, you should be able to express opposing or different views without it causing relationship breakdown or fractures.
“You should learn to validate each other’s perspectives, even if as individuals they don’t match up.”
This shows you are celebrating each other as individuals, Moyle explains, and is good practice for being able to discuss life challenges and situations that will arise.
6. You aren’t afraid to tell them what’s on your mind
When you are with the right person, there is no judgment, says Preece. Or at least there shouldn’t be.
“You should feel free to be yourself and show all sides of your personality,” he adds.
“If something is on your mind, you prefer to get it out in the open quickly rather than bottling it up.
“The best thing is that when this happens with someone who is good for you, they will be able to listen and help when you have a problem.”
7. They offer you their undivided attention
There’s nothing worse than being in the middle of speaking to someone and noticing they’re scrolling through Instagram.
The right partner won’t do that, says Moyle. “They will be completely present in your company, which is an important part of human connection and demonstrates our value to that person.
“So often we are distracted by tech, screens and notifications. But attention plays a big part in forming meaningful connections.”
8. Your friends and family love them
It might sound obvious, but if your loved ones get on swimmingly with the person you’re dating, it’s usually a pretty good sign.
“The people around you are going to be a great judge of character and probably know you better than you know yourself,” says Preece.
“It’s normal for them to be protective and initially suspicious of the people you start dating.
“If they are your partner’s biggest fans then you know you have picked a good one.”
9. They do little things for you
A gesture needn’t be grand to be romantic. In fact, sometimes it’s the small and subtle gestures that mean the most.
“You don’t have to spend a lot of money or spoil your partner rotten for them to know that you are thinking of them,” says Moyle.
“It could be that cup of tea in bed in the morning, cooking dinner when they know you have had a long day, or an affectionate text.”
Even simply reaching out for your hand can be a meaningful gesture. If you’re dating someone who does these things, it’s usually a good sign that they care for you deeply.